Beyond Prison Walls Series: Part III

Part III: The Power of a Hug

I believe hugs are God’s healing balm for our wounds. They are also how we can show others love and compassion. Hugs offer comfort during times of mourning, serve as a way for us to let others know we are glad to see them, and are perfect for moments of celebration. Giving someone a hug is great way to say what we need to say, when words fail us: I’m sorry; I love you; I see you are hurting. Hugs may seem simple, but they are really a way for us to acknowledge each other’s presence. 

One of the visitation rules for this prison is that you are allowed only two hugs – one when you arrive and the other when you leave. When Mason walked into the visiting room, this mama melted into a much needed and long overdue hug from her son. I considered how it should have felt impossible to hug someone I had grieved the loss of, but it didn’t feel that way. It was beautiful and felt like the time apart had been erased. All things truly are possible with God (Luke 1:37).   

In the past, I would have turned into a blubbery mess. Instead of nausea inducing heartache and uncontrollable crying, my heart was exploding with joy. Sure, I teared up but they were happy tears. In that precious moment, God had placed pieces of my heart He had been chiseling, molding and refining over the last several years back where they belong. 

Quality Time

Mason and I covered a lot of ground during our seven hour visit. We talked about things that had been on each other’s hearts over the years. Things we never have enough time to talk about during our phone calls and video visits as they are subject to time limits. And some conversations are just best had while sharing a pop and a vending machine chocolate chip cookie.  

I filled Mason in on the happenings around home and he shared his dreams for his life after he finishes serving his sentence. While playing cards and board games we recalled some of our favorite memories, all while making new ones. Laughter was a constant blessing that day. Anyone that knows Mason knows his smile and laughter are contagious – both were much needed medicine for my heart. 

There was time allotted for residents and their visitors to have their pictures taken – yes please! I now have  reminders of that day hanging in my home. Every time I look at our photographs I can’t help but smile.

Throughout the day Mason allowed me glimpses into his confined life. There is always a job available but the pay is less than adequate for the necessities to live on, which has proven to be a great way to learn how to budget. Mason makes do with what he has and has learned how to stretch a dollar. His response to my question about him feeling safe was: “Yes. It’s not like the movies, Mom.” Phew…

I’ll be honest, it was hard to hear about some of the struggles he faces. For instance, there are days he goes to bed hungry when the meals are not filling and he is out of snacks. Working out is a passion of his but the nutrition portions and the exercise have left him thinner than he should be. He doesn’t complain about it – he knows it’s not a place of luxury, but it’s still not what a mama wants for her child. 

One of the things I miss about having my son in my everyday life is cooking for him. Mason always ate well and was never picky about what was on the menu…he just loved to eat. My mashed potatoes, caramel Chex mix and banana bread were few of his favorites. Since the prison doesn’t allow food in, the best I could do was buy him his favorite sugar packed treats from a vending machine. 

Visitors are allowed to bring ten dollars for snacks. It was enough to buy Mason a pop and a few treats. The vending machine had several options, one of which was a cherry Pop Tart – a favorite flavor of his. He said he had not eaten one since before he was incarcerated. He ate one that day. 

Until Next Time

The time came to say goodbye. Both Mason and I couldn’t believe how fast the time went and agreed that it was an amazing day. We closed our visit in prayer and then as any gentleman would, Mason offered to walk me out. When I asked him how far that was, he smiled and whimsically said: “As far as they’ll let me go.” We both knew the boundary line was clearly marked, but he used humor to help make a tough moment easier on our hearts. 

Mason and I cashed in on that final hug. Oh how I did not want to let go…this was the hard part. Walking away and leaving him behind left a lump in my throat and a familiar heartache setting in. We said goodbye and I love you. I began my short walk into the free world and Mason made his way back to his confined space.  

Visitors go through an exit procedure similar to the entrance process, but without being scanned by the security wand or the visual body check, as mentioned in Part II. They need to make sure the person who is leaving is the same person who came in. 

I stepped through the final secure door, heard it shut behind me and I felt the sting of reality prick my heart. Even with the sting, I was bubbling over inside with gratitude and in complete awe of what God had been doing behind the scenes all these years. He gifted me with restoration after years of brokenness – because that’s what God does when we let Him into our messes, desperation and heartache. He repairs relationships and doesn’t let minor barriers like prison walls get in the way of His ability to make all things new. 

Letting God In

The same kind smile who greeted me that morning was still working when I left.  As I pushed open the door that led to the parking lot, I heard her congratulate me on making it all day without a break. I looked back, returned the smile, and with laughter behind my words I told her I had indeed made it all day without a restroom break…but I won’t be doing that next time.

Driving away from the prison, I remembered my husband’s encouragement from earlier that morning and couldn’t agree more: my first visit with Mason was truly better than I could have ever imagined. 

Friend, I don’t know what path you are on right now but I do know this – you don’t have to walk it alone. God wants to go before you and lead you. He promises that His love never fails and that in times of heartache, He is our relief. We all have unique stories but we all have the same faithful God who wants to be our source of comfort, love and peace. Gifts that are available to anyone who wants to accept them. I pray you are encouraged to invite God into your situation and give Him permission to tend to any wounds that need His healing touch. May today be a day where you experience divine transformation!

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8 (NIV)

 

Read Part I

Read Part II

Thank you for reading my Beyond Prison Walls three-part series. I hope you have been encouraged to make room in your life for God to do a great work within you and through you. He wants to be included in the good, the not so good and the really messy parts – there is nothing in your life that is not important to our Almighty God! If I could, I would give you one of those hugs I’m a huge fan of! While a hug might not be feasible, I would love to pray with you and hear about your journey. To connect and schedule a time to visit send me a message here: Contact. 

Blessings,

Tricia